Friday 1 July 2016

Retell writing


Retell writing is Retelling a fairy-tale.
My Retell writing is about the four little Steve's (it's sort of like the three little pigs except there's four of them and it minecraft style.
I am proud of this sentence-

"Meanwhile Ben was making a house out of wood in a cave and pretty much everything inside and out was made out of wood."

because I think I have used lots of detail and Mrs hill thinks i have used the sentence starter ladder learning tool (but i actually didn't)
Something that I enjoyed was making the characters because I put my friends in it and my favorite youtuber, dantdm it stand for the diamond minecart.

Here is my writing so far:

One fine evening four little steves were having afternoon tea and mum Alex said this house is too small for all of us so you will have to go and explore to make your own houses! The four little steves were named Ryan, Ben, Dantdm and Jacob. all the three Steve's did not like the idea but they said a long goodbye to mum and mum said “watch out for the big bad mobs they will demolish you!” Ryan Ben Dantdm and Jacob took the warning. that evening the little Steve’s set of to invent their own creations of a house. Ryan had a wander and Ryan gathered more than enough dirt blocks to make his own house.  It took him about half an hour to make it but he made a fine house made out of dirt blocks and it was a in-ground dirt block house. Dantdm and Jacob then saw Ryan’s house and did not like it so they were not  thinking about making a lab (because they like science) next door made out of iron so they made a lab a mile away from him and it was a fine huge iron lab with a in-wall coffee machine. Meanwhile Ben was making a house out of wood in a cave and pretty much everything inside and out was made out of wood. But then out of nowhere came a big bad creeper, knocked on the door Ben got creeped out because now one would randomly jump down a cave and find a suspicious house. So he “Who is it?” in a trembling voice and the creeper said “it is your mum, Alex” ok he said, he opened the door and the creeper BLEW UP! And sadly Ben never made it. After that the big bad creeper came to Ryan’s house the big bad creeper knocked on Ryan’s door Ryan said “who is it?” in a brave voice  the big bad creeper said “it is your mum, Alex” Ryan opened the door and the big bad creeper BLEW UP!! Ryan sadly did not make it either. After he killed two innocent steves he wanted more so he went to Dantdm’s and Jacob’s laboratory but luckily Jacob and dantdm made random traps everywhere around the lab, so the big bad creeper stood on one of the pressure plates and the sticky pistons opened up and the big bad creeper fell into a pit of lava and he sizzled, that was the end of the big bad wolf.

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